Mahiwaga Ang Buhay

Mahiwaga ang buhay ng tao
Ang bukas ay di natin biro
At manalig lagi sana tayo
Ang Diyos s’yang pag-asa ng mundo…….
Mahiwaga nga ba talaga ang buhay ng tao?
Sa aking pananaw mahiwaga nga ang buhay
Dahil kung ang lahat ng bagay sa mundo
Ay kayang arukin ng kaalaman ng tao
At bigyang kasagutan ang bawat katanungan
Marahil di na magiging mahiwaga ang buhay
Dahil ang lahat ay may tiyak na kapaliwanagan

Noong ako’y bata pa
Sabi ko sa aking sarili
Bakit kailangang may mayaman at mahirap
Di ba pwedeng lahat ng tao ay mayaman na lamang
Para wala na lang nagugutom at nahihirapan
Wala na ring nanlilimos at madudungis sa lansangan

Dahil ako ay mula sa kahirapan
Na lumaki sa kalinga ng aking ina at ama na dukha
Di ko man nais maging mahirap ay wala akong magagawa
Kundi makipamuhay sa karukhaaan na aking kinagisnan
Mahirap, mapait, masakit, nakakahiya at nakakapanliit
Ngunit di ko hinayaan ang sarili na panghinaan

Bakit ganoon?
Kahit anong pilit kong iangat ang buhay kong ito
At bigyan ng kaginhawahan ang aking mga magulang
May mga pangyayari na siyang naging hadlang
Upang ang aking hangarin ay di lubusang makamtan

Ngayong pumanaw na ang aking mga magulang
At binawi ng tadhana ang bahay na pinaghirapan
Tanong ko sa Maykapal, “Bakit nangyari ang ganito?”
Di ba't ako naman ay mabuti na tao?

Naging malungkot at magulo ang isipan
Nahirapang tanggapin ang pangit na karanasan
Damdamin at sarili ay lalong nagulumihanan
Naghanap ng kasagutan sa aking pinagdaanan

Ngayon wari ko’y batid ko na ang totoo
Mahiwaga nga ang buhay at yan ay totoo
Sa patuloy kong pag-aangat sa buhay na nabigo
Batid ko na ang Diyos ay kasa-kasama ko

Sa patuloy kong paglalakbay sa buhay na ito
Dalangin ko lamang ay gabayan ako
Di ko kayang unawain ang lahat ng ito
Dahil patuloy ang hiwaga na di ko lubos matanto

Sa bandang huli ito ang dalangin ko
Kung saan man patutungo ang buhay kong ito
Nawa’y masulyapan muli ang mga magulang ko
At makapiling din sana buong pamilya ko

Buhay na mahiwaga, salamat sa iyo
Dahil ako’y pinatatag mo at kailanma’y di susuko
Kung saan man at paano man magtatapos ito
Alam kong sa Maykapal ang huling hantungan ko!

EMOTIONS

Song:

           

            Happiness is five different crayons,

               knowing a secret, climbing a tree.

            Happiness is learning to whistle,

               catching a firefly, setting him free.

            Happiness is being alone every now and then.

            And happiness is coming home again.

We are all feelers  all the time.  With every breath we take, with very move we make, with every word we say …  every action, reaction,  decision is stimulated by an emotion.

We are great feelers every minute of the day. We are feelers through our talking but also in our silence. We are feelers when we are awake  and also  during our sleep.  

Emotions are what we are. We are basically what we feel.

Some emotions can be very visible while others would be very hidden,  sneaking in our body and mind, lurking in the deepest recesses of our mind and soul.   The raw emotions we see can be a manifestation of a primordial emotion and in that case, the raw emotion becomes the visible one while the primordial emotion becomes the hidden one. 

Many emotions can be very visible in their manifestations although their  being evident is also affected by their intensity and the capacity of the person to feel and show what he/she feels.  When we are happy, we smile, shout, jump, laugh, and even cry.  When we are sad, we shed tears, cry, sulk, etc.

Some emotions that we see would be outward visible signs of primitive emotions that are hidden. How many times have you seen your child suffering from stomach pain, and therefore, crying and wriggling in pain, not because of his chocolate or cereal bar, but because of fear and resistance?  Maybe you have experienced the same when it was your first day in school or when you dreaded going to school as a young boy/girl and yet you had to for fear of your parent’s anger.

How many times that  out of fear,  you wanted to shout but you couldn’t  for one reason or another?  And how many times in the past when you were very excited and yet you could not just act it out because the circumstances did not warrant it?

What about loss of appetite? It can be a manifestation of either or a constellation of the following emotions:   sadness, anger, fear, depression, etc.

Emotions regulate our lives.  Emotions are universal, hence, there is  no need for a dictionary or  translators and experts to understand the language of emotions. We just need to  listen to our inner selves  and listen to others.  We need to allow ourselves to feel and not think. We just need to open our heart to them, refrain from judging,  and we will understand the emotion/s behind every step and action of others and our own.

Emotions can be also reflected through a walk, a dance,  voice tone, etc.

Emotions can be depicted through a painting, music, or any work of ART.  Studies have showed that excellent  artists paint, dance, compose a melody,  or create a sculpture, etc. out of a deep pain, or to have a venue to express their emotional state.   

We can’t live without emotions and believe it or not, people who appear unemotional are the  most fragile and vulnerable. They are the people who are too  afraid to get so overwhelmed with emotions that they decided long time ago to shut out what they feel,  build a fence to  protect themselves from the intensity of emotions and feelings, that through their own folly they believe can truly harm them.

But believe me, people who do not feel at all are those ones who are very dangerous. 

Hence, let us not deprive ourselves of feeling what we feel, as emotions are a gift, an endowment, a faculty that allows us to regulate our health, our life.

SONG:

For happiness is anyone and anything at all,

   that’s loved by you.

FB World, My World

I started to have my very first social networking account thru the persuasion and magnanimity of my best friend Elvin. In fact, I told him that I don’t need one because I already have many friends plus I am not a tekky person as well. As I explore the ins and outs of it, I see myself developing great interest and alacrity into it especially when I was able to communicate with my family, friends, and classmates which I have not seen for ages. After the Friendster mania, the genius Mark Zuckerberg introduced the very famous and widely used Facebook.

Admittedly, I am one of those millions of users who got hooked into it. Just the same, I was able to get in touch with good friends since childhood and classmates from elementary, high school, and college. It really gives me a very good feeling every time I use it. Thank you very much to Mr. Zuckerberg for creating Facebook.

I religiously check my account and would feel very excited receiving invitations from old friends and from unknown people that I just met online. Every time I have new pictures, I would immediately upload it for my family and friends to see. I get to chat with them for long hours only to realize that I have failed to do other things which are important. Thank goodness I never accepted invitations from friends to play games which I think a lot of my friends on FB are into it.

As days passed by, I noticed that people apparently post everything in their account. Some would share beautiful and inspiring quotations, passages, stories, and pictures from different sources. Others would post feel good photos and memorabilia that I have never seen before. Also, I am reminded everyday of my friends’ birthday. Thus, I would send my short and sweet greetings to each and every one of them.

Sadly, I have observed that others are so insensitive and shameless posting pictures, websites, and words that are obscene and vulgar in nature. Needless to say, people find joy and happiness from sharing such kind of materials. Also, there are other people who are likely to enjoy announcing to everyone their location or whereabouts. Perhaps, privacy is not an issue for most of them. The biggest population likely to find gratification from uploading photos of food, personal trips, posh restaurants, branded items, partners in life, new cars, acquired properties, personal photo of their sexy and nude poses which they appear to be very proud to share to the rest of the world. Surprisingly, it has also become a venue for emotional catharsis for many who are sad, depressed, homesick, problematic or heartbroken which elicit different responses from friends.

The most pressing issue being faced by parents, school administrators, employers, and other concerned groups nowadays is how to teach and promote the proper use and control of it. Many of them started to block and monitor the use of it because of the growing danger it gives to many people especially to the young. In fact, news all over the world showed that many lives were taken away because of the relentless use of this social networking site.

It is a formidable reality that people from all walks of life regardless of race, culture, gender, creed, and even socio-economic status in life are hooked if not addicted to this great phenomenon called FB world. It surely has its pros and cons but it is always up to the person to exercise prudence, respect, control, and sensitivity towards the use of all social networking sites available. Ultimately, we should always be responsible and accountable to everything that we post and do with our personal account.

Is FB your world too?

A Tribute to My Father

June 19, 2011 is Fathers’ Day!

On this occasion, my fond memories of my father bring back   to life  the years of his earthly existence and they are flashed before  me like that in a movie screen, and the  scenes appear so real. As they are played in my mind and I see them in my eyes,  I get  a   mixed feeling of melancholy and gratitude. Melancholy in the sense that I miss him and this thoughtful and gentle sadness is mixed with regret that he did not live longer than 67 years. How I wished he lived until this day as I personally would have wanted to see him spend his life after 60  free from physical toiling and in total  relaxation and enjoyment. But that is not how God had planned it to be and He called him back may be because He needs a  creative,  exacting,  and professional handyman in heaven.  

Gratitude is what I owe to God for giving us our father who did what he could to provide for us without complaining at all no matter how physiologically tiring it must have been for him to juggle carpentry and joinery, blacksmithing, farming, and family life. He is a man of few words and I can only surmise what must have been in his thoughts in those moments when I saw him physiologically dreary and exasperated.  The moments I would hear him talk a lot were at nighttime when he was tipsy with ‘tuba’, and somehow I wished then that nighttime would come so I could have a glimpse of his thoughts and feelings about ‘life’.   He is one person who would internalize his thoughts and feelings rather than blurt them out as he is more introverted, and this is one trait I got from him.  If there is one striking character in him that I suppose all of us children were able to imbibe, it is being a ‘homebuddy’. This trait has been innate in each one of us that it manifests itself automatically in our behavior.  My father would always make it a point that his drinking buddies would go to our house and not the other way around. He was uncompromising in this.  In those rare moments he had to go out with his drinking buddies, he would make it a point to come back within the shortest time interval possible. No one could prevent him from being away from home longer than he thought would be needed.  Despite the lure of going out with friends to drink after work especially during payday, he was consistent in politely saying ‘no’.  The pull of the home was always more powerful than the pull of  leisure time with buddies. To him, he would rather spend the money for family needs than for leisurely pursuits.

There are too  many good things that can be mentioned about my father that they will make for a good biography. But on this special occasion, I would like to bring to the surface those that I can recall at the moment as my special tribute to the man who I owe my life to and the man that taught me through his own unique and quiet ways what ‘dignity of labor’ is and should be.

I love you and I sorely miss you Tatay!

Amang: My Father Whom God Has Blessed Me With

In my previous blogs, I have already shared some of my significant moments with my father. We call him Amang in my country the Philippines.

My Amang grew up from a very poor family. In fact, he only reached Grade 3 and he was not able to learn how to read and write. He worked as a janitor in a factory near our house. I remember during election time, I would accompany him to the voting precinct to guide him and give him instructions on what to do. When I was an elementary student, he would ask me to accompany him to watch the baseball game of my eldest brother to be his “tourist guide.” I would read for him the signboard on the jeepney which we have to take going to the venue. This incident strongly motivated me to study hard and make my father feel proud that even if he was illiterate he was blessed with an educated son. Thus, I tried my best to excel in my academics.

My Amang may not fully know the importance of education and the accomplishments I have earned academically but I have realized that he was one of the reasons why I strove hard to earn the highest possible academic degree. When I invited him for my masteral degree graduation, he replied by saying, “Why do I have to attend, you are not going to graduate with honors anyway?” Honestly, I tried my very best to graduate with honors. I was a consistent academic scholar and academic excellence awardee until I received a grade in my very last subject which disqualified me to earn the distinction. When I heard that from my Amang, honestly, I did not feel bad because I know that someday I will reap the fruits of my labor. Now, I have already realized the reason why I did not graduate with honors, God wanted me to learn and possess the most important human and holy virtue, humility.

Since Amang was addicted to alcohol and nicotine, he would always be with his friends drinking alcohol practically everyday. He would spend more time with them and would only go home when he will eat, sleep, watch television, and will do his personal routine. I would not deny that I have cursed my Amang for hurting everyone in the family both physically, psychologically, and emotionally especially my Inang.

If you ask me if I love Amang, with all humility my answer is YES! As I grow older, I have realized that we learn more from our painful and sad experiences in life. It may sound crazy but I have to thank my Amang for that. He has taught me a lot of good values from those painful moments and those are to be forgiving, accepting, understanding, and loving as a son and as a Christian.

My Amang may have not been an ideal father but I still consider him as a loving and caring father. When I was 4 years old, he brought me to a perya (carnival) for a ride in a ferris wheel. He was drunk then and I remember him telling me, “Anak pasensya ka na, iyan lang ang kaya ng Amang mo.” (Son, I am very sorry because your father can only give you this much.) I will never forget those words of Amang which made me realize that no matter how much Amang wanted to show his love to me and my siblings, he could only do as much. I know in my heart the reason why Amang uttered those words. It has something to do with his personal history from the day he was born until the time he became my father.

After 5 years of working in Indonesia, I went back home to the Philippines. It was my constant hope and prayer then, only to realize that I will take care of Amang on his remaining months. It was the most unforgettable, loving, and nurturing moments I had with Amang. Through him, I was able to show and learn all the loving values that a son could give to his father.

One day when we rushed him to the hospital, I thought that it was his time to go. By the grace of God, he still made it on that day. I whispered to him, “Amang, I am very thankful to the Lord because you are still here with me.” He told me not to confine him anymore because he feels very sorry that I have to spend my hard earned money from working abroad. I don’t mind if I have to use up every single peso I have saved if that will prolong his life with the hope that he will be totally healed from his sickness.

Through all the pain, sacrifice, service, joy, happiness, and loving moments I had with Amang, I have come to realize that no matter what I have been through with him, he is my Amang whom God has blessed me with.

I misss you very much Amang and I hope and pray to God to see you again and celebrate Father's Day in heaven. Happy Father's Day Amang and I love you very much.

Everything in this World is Temporary

“The only thing that is permanent in this world is temporary.”
- Socrates

Do you agree that everything in this world is temporary?
If you agree that it is temporary, look around you
How come there are many people who are preoccupied or addicted with things that will not last?
Like food, clothes, big house, land acquisition, prestige, power, sex, etc.
I may be able to explain all these from a psychological perspective
But I still believe that these are just means for us to strive for what is eternal
I don’t want to sound righteous or preachy but I strongly believe that many of us still enjoy the things of this world

When I was young, I always wish that I could have what I want
When I was a student, I always wish that I could get high grades
When I was working, I always wish that I could get high salary
When I have enough money, I always wish that I can have more
But as I grow older and wiser, I realized that everything in this world is temporary

Today when I woke up, I just uttered the words, “Thank you God for everything.”
I have thought that my life is temporary and that I have to live my best
But how can I do it if I am strongly preoccupied and influenced by my egocentricity
I always think of my past and future and tend to forget my present
How can I live a life not rooted on its temporal existence?

I do not have all the answers to my concerns, questions, and preoccupations
All I know is that life is short and that I have to live as if it’s my last
At the end of the day, I can humbly say that I have live a good life
A life that is rooted on what is good and eternal
I have shared to a friend that when the day comes that I have to finally close my eyes
When I open it again, the first thing I would like to see is God and my parents

As I continue to live in this world full of enigma and intricacy
I will always carry with me all the good lessons I have learned
So when the day comes that this temporary life comes to an end
I can humbly say to myself and to my God that I have tried to live a good life
Despite of my imperfections and human frailties

Now that I am living my present
I will enjoy every single day of it
As I will always be reminded of my guiding principle in life
“I shall pass through this world but ones
If therefore there be any kindness I can show
Or any goodness I can do
Let me do it now, let me not defer it nor neglect it
For I shall never pass this way again.”

Be Proactive

The concept of proactivity is not something new. It has been there since time immemorial and has been espoused by many who treaded the path of life ahead of us and left their lasting legacy. But it took a man in our contemporary history to give a name to it; a name that has become universally accepted; a name that has an appeal; a name that sells. This man is Stephen Covey; the man who developed the famous self-help school of thought that is the 7 Basic Habits of Highly Effective People.

Habit is the interaction of knowledge, skill, and desire.  “Being proactive”  is the 1^st Habit; the habit of personal vision; it means taking responsibility for our attitudes, and actions; taking responsibility for our own lives.   The key word is “responsibility”.   Break the word “responsibility” into two parts:  response/ability. Proactive people develop the ability to choose their response, making them more of a product of their values and decisions than their moods and conditions.  Proactive people make things happen.

Many behavioral scientists have built reactive stimulus-response models of human behavior based on studies of animals, such as rats and dogs.  These theorists asserted that:

Stimulus (S) elicits programmed Response (R) that is more or less automatic.

                

They advocated the idea of programmed responses of humans to stimuli.

                                                                                                                           

Conversely, little research, if any at all, has been conducted with healthy, creative, proactive people who exercise the freedom to choose their response to any given internal or external stimulus

                  Stimulus (S)        FREEDOM            Response (R)

The point is, the more we exercise our freedom to choose our response/ability, the more PROACTIVE we become. It is a “habit that feeds in itself”.  So many things can be said to explain proactivity, but the following phrase  would say it all: 

To “be proactive” means:  to be an architect of out own life.

THE DONKEY STORY

One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The farmer frantically thought what to do as the stricken animal cried out to be rescued. With no obvious solution, the farmer regretfully concluded that as the donkey was old, and as the well needed to be filled in anyway, he should give up the idea of rescuing the beast, and simply fill in the well. Hopefully the poor animal would not suffer too much, he tried to persuade himself.

The farmer asked his neighbors’ help, and before long they all began to shovel earth quickly into the well. When the donkey realized what was happening he wailed and struggled, but then, to everyone's relief, the noise stopped.

After a while the farmer looked down into the well and was astonished by what he saw. The donkey was still alive, and progressing towards the top of the well. The donkey had discovered that by shaking off the dirt instead of letting it cover him, he could keep stepping on top of the earth as the level rose. Soon the donkey was able to step up over the edge of the well, and he happily trotted off.

                LIFE TENDS TO SHOVEL DIRT ON TOP OF EACH OF US FROM    TIME TO TIME. THE TRICK IS TO SHAKE IT OFF AND TAKE A STEP UP.

 Proactive people are Victors out of a situation while reactive people are Victims of a situation. 

So, ladies & gentlemen, what do we choose?