While there have been inconclusive and some conflicting accounts relevant to the genesis of Valentine’s Day, this has never deterred people from across the globe to celebrate it every February 14. The most commonly-held rationale for its observance is historical-religious in nature as it falls on the same day as the Feast Day of St. Valentine, who was a holy priest in Rome and martyrd for his Christian faith during the reign of Cladius II (268-270 AD). One legend says, while awaiting his execution, Valentinus or Fr. Valentine restored the sight of his jailer's blind daughter. Another legend says, on the eve of his death, he penned a farewell note to the jailer's daughter, signing it, "From your Valentine." The site www.catholic.org cites that St. Valentine was beheaded on February 14, about the year 270. He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travelers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses. However, there are two other Christian saints named Valentine whose feast day falls on Feb 14. In 1969, Pope Paul VI dropped the feast day from the Roman Catholic calendar, although its religious observance is still permitted.
Its romantic elements began to take shape much later and only in the 14th century and since then, Valentine is an occasion that is more construed in a romantic than religious or spiritual sense.
Since I became an expat 7 years ago, there is this curiosity that has been resonating at the back of my mind about the meaning of Valentine to expats and how they celebrate it. As would be expected, gauging from the responses I gathered from the majority of expats I asked, their most immediate attribution to the occasion is romantic in nature.
Here are some notable responses I got from them:
· From a long lost friend that I found… just a call overseas
· If you have LOVE, you don’t need to have anything else. If you don’t have LOVE, it does not matter much what else you have.
One person I asked (a friend) said he will celebrate it exclusively with his wife and most likely via a night out. When I asked him why his son would be excluded from the celebration, he said that he wanted the special and very rare moment to be exclusively for him and his wife so as not to dilute its romantic sense.
Another person (a lady friend) who is momentarily single said that she would spend it at home chatting with her family, hoping that they would still be awake on the night of Valentine’s Day. She added that even when she still had a boyfriend, there was no special celebration during Valentine’s Day as every day, they would watch movies, eat either before or after the movie, so there was nothing more special to do on other occasions. It was close to saying that to her, every day can be a special hearts’ day if we want to.
One lady acquaintance I know who is single intends to invite her other lady single friends for a fabulous dine out on Valentine’s night.
A married male expat whose wife and family are in the Philippines said that he will spend it along with his male flatmates eating, drinking, and singing videoke in their flat and calling his loved ones back home during the day itself.
I heard someone jokingly saying that he would find another expat (a female expat) who may be as lonely as he would be on Valentine’s day to date out. It was intended as a joke but I also know that some would really do this. This seemingly is one of the ramifications of the romantic associations that have been attached to what used to be a purely religious observance.
Of the many responses I got, I would like to highlight this one owing to its quite seemingly different perspective. It is like a breath of cold fresh air during the intense heat of summer.
Valentine for me denotes Love. A love for one-self or self-love. What could be more meaningful for all God’s creation than to realize that they are beings of love. Who else can love you unconditionally than you? Once you understand that you are a being of Love and able to understand and experience the unconditional love from within, that is the time when you can share that same feeling with other beings around you, your community, your family, your spouse or partner. So how do I celebrate it? I celebrate it everyday by looking at the mirror and telling myself ‘I love you’. I celebrate it by expressing that inner love towards others. One thing is for certain, I don’t strive to look for love from others because for me, that is looking for love in all the wrong places. I look for Love from within, from my inner god and from that perspective, I express that love toward others.
My earliest recollection of the inculcation of this celebration to my consciousness was in Grade 1 at age 5. We were asked to make Valentine cards for our parents, siblings, teachers, and friends in school, the very people we love and care for as children. I also remember our class being taught this song:
Dearest child believe me you are truly my friend
So today with gladness to you will I send
Just a sign of friendship from this heart of mine
That will tell you in words ‘You are my Valentine’.
This will it say
Mother’s heart is true
And never will change
The love she gives you.
This song imprinted in me an indelible essence of Valentine that still holds true today. As an expat physically away from my family, I feel quite sad, yet I suppose that nothing would dissuade me from expressing my love, affection, and gratitude to my Mother and my family through the varied means available to us right now, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day.
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