Psyche Me Up: 2nd Chapter

This article was based on a research made by Laura Kubzansky of Harvard University.


Keys to a happier, healthier life
Research suggests that certain personal attributes—whether inborn or shaped by positive life circumstances—help some people avoid or healthfully manage diseases such as heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, and depression.

These include:
· Emotional vitality: a sense of enthusiasm, hopefulness, engagement things that occur in life

· Supportive networks of family and friends

· Being good at “self-regulation,” i.e. bouncing back from stressful challenges and knowing that things will eventually look up again; choosing healthy behaviors such as physical activity and eating well; and avoiding risky behaviors such as unsafe sex, drinking alcohol to excess, and regular overeating.

Nature vs Nurture

The concept of “Nature” is derived from the definition of heredity which means the transmission of characteristic traits from parents to offspring. Thus, the prolifics in the field of genetics and developmental psychology believe that most of our physical attributes and personality traits were inherited from our parents.

Growing up, I remember always being identified by people to be like my father in terms of his physical appearance as a tall, slim, and good looking (I assumed) man. Also, since my father loved to sing and he sang with love and passion especially kundiman songs (old Filipino songs), I believe that I got from him my inclination and alacrity to singing too but not much of the looks I think because admittedly he is more handsome than I am. I started singing at the age of 4 and I would remember standing on top of a big can of milk as my stage while I was holding a long piece of wooden clip for clothes as my microphone. One time when I joined a singing competition during the centennial celebration, he taught me the song “Ang Tangi Kong Pag-ibig.” He watched me perform on stage and he was very proud of me winning that competition. Vividly, I asked him to sing as I recorded his voice in my hand phone. Every now and then, I would play his songs and I can’t help but cry because he is now gone and I only have his beautiful voice with me. I miss the time that we would sing together his favorite old songs.

Well, my mother surely would not be out of the scene. Academically, my mother finished only up to Grade 3. Given a chance to study further, I am very sure that she would have excelled in class because of her mental acuity particularly in language and numbers. I remember her being my human calculator whenever I couldn't compute anymore my math homework especially in multiplication and subtraction. Similarly, she sounded very smart and confident talking in English with my friends and colleagues in the profession and she would bravely talk to foreigners she met when I was young. Personality wise, I believe that the distinct traits we inherited from our mother were humility, generosity, and compassion especially with poor individuals. My mother was a paragon of a selfless and magnanimous woman and mother to us especially with the less fortunate people as she could relate with them. She was a very prayerful person too. I would see her wake up at dawn to pray the rosary daily alone by herself. We grew up valuing the importance of prayer especially praying the rosary thus, we have imbibed from her the same religious practice. With all humility, I believe that we have inherited most of my mother's personality traits while we got from our father his being a kind and loyal friend.

The concept of “Nurture" is associated with the external factors that surround us which influence our growth and development as a human being whether social, moral, emotional, and spiritual. In this light, family, friends, school, religion, culture, tradition, and other significant factors play a pivotal role. Nowadays, you see the great impact to people of the things they see and experience. The mass media and technology being the source of all information, trends, passion, and popularity are now the standards of people in almost everything such as what clothes and accessories to buy, which places to go to for vacation, what is a good place for hanging out with friends, and especially the fad and latest in fashion and electronic gadgets. People are so consumed that many are extrinsically motivated to work hard just to possess all of these things. In fact, I have friends whose social standards are strongly attached and influenced by consumerism.

As a professional counselor, I have observed that most students are greatly influenced by their peers and thus submit themselves to their personal interests and preferences just to gratify the 'need to belong'. Most importantly, parents have a very strong and significant impact on the lives of their children, and perhaps most of them are not aware of the effects of the same on their growth and development as a person. I remember many students I have counseled who would sadly share that their parents forced them to enroll in the course that they did not want to pursue.

Nature vs Nurture is still a debatable topic in human psychology. It can give us a lot of insights and view about human nature. Reality is that, “Nature” is innate and that we cannot change it but we can only manage it while “Nurture” is learned or acquired and we always have a choice to accept or reject it. Perhaps, we can all look at our own being and dynamics and asked ourselves if we are a product of “Nature or Nurture.” What is your answer?

Psyche Me Up: 1st Chapter

You are what you think. You feel what you want.

Why Think Positively? All of our feelings, beliefs,  and knowledge are based on our internal thoughts, both conscious and subconscious. We are in control, whether we know it or not.
Aim high and do your best. We can be positive or negative, enthusiastic or dull, active or passive. The biggest difference between people is their attitude. For some, learning is enjoyable and exciting. For others, learning is a drudgery. For many, learning is just okay, something required on the road to a job. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." According to Abraham Lincoln, "Our present attitudes are habits, built from the feedback of parents, friends, society and self, that form our self-image and our world-image." These attitudes are maintained by the inner conversations we constantly have with ourselves, both consciously and subconsciously.

The first step in changing our attitudes is to change our inner conversations.What Should We Be Saying? One approach is called the three C's: Commitment, Control, and Challenge. Commitment: Make a positive commitment to yourself, to learning, work, family, friends, nature, and other worthwhile causes. Praise yourself and others. Dream of success. Be enthusiastic. Control: Keep your mind focused on important things. Set goals and priorities for what you think and do. Visualize to practice your actions. Develop a strategy for dealing with problems. Learn to relax. Enjoy successes. Be honest with yourself. Challenge: Be courageous. Change and improve each day. Do your best and don't look back. See learning and change as opportunities. Try new things. Consider several options. Meet new people. Ask lots of questions. Keep track of your mental and physical health. Be optimistic. Studies show that people with these characteristics are winners in good times and survivors in hard times. Research shows that,"... people who begin consciously to modify their inner conversations and assumptions report an almost immediate improvement in their performance. Their energy increases and things seem to go better ..." Commitment, control, and challenge help build self-esteem and promote positive thinking.

Here are some other suggestions on Building Positive Attitudes
In every class, look for positive people to associate with.
In every lecture, look for one more interesting idea.
In every chapter, find one more concept important to you.
With every friend, explain a new idea you've just learned.
With every teacher, ask a question.
With yourself, keep a list of your goals, positive thoughts and actions.
Remember, you are what you think, you feel what you want.

As Stephen Covey states it in his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "Your Attitude Determines Your Altitude."

Insight: I strongly agree that to be happy in life is an 'attitude' that we exercise everyday, especially on the way we view the things happening around us. Keep up a positive attitude! What do you think?