Monday, February 28, 2011

Xpat's World: On Humor

Xpat's World: On Humor: "Humor is a complex cognitive function which often elicits and leads to laughter. Laughter is a ‘seizure-like’ activity that can ..."

Saturday, February 26, 2011

In His Mountain…

According to the Book of Genesis in the Bible, Jehovah-jireh (or Yahweh-yireh, The Lord will provide), was a place in the land of Moriah. It was the location of the binding of Isaac, where God told Abraham to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering. Abraham named the place after the Lord provided a ram to sacrifice in place of Isaac.
In His mountain,  the Lord provides. I subscribe to this divine  promise not just as a matter of conviction  but of personal experience of God’s provision in  my life. Well, God has been my Divine Providence since I came into being but I suppose that lately,  I have become more conscious of the manifestations of this promise in my life. Let me cite a few cases in point.
When  I lost the car I was driving to a bad vehicular accident in August 2010 (The owner decided to sell it after its repair.), one of my main concerns then was how to get to St. Francis of Assissi  Church at Jebel Ali, Dubai in time for the 7:00 P.M. Mass when I have to come all the way from Jumeirah 1, Dubai,  after 6:00 P.M.  The two places are around a 45-minute drive apart at a minimum. Getting a taxi from the Ibn Battuta Station at Jebel Ali  at around that time is always a frustrating experience. But  since ‘In His mountain, the Lord provides.’,  He tapped  a good friend to help me get to Church not exactly on time but at least not as tardy as it would be if I took a cab and without the exasperation of having to deal with insolent taxi drivers. When this same  friend went home for vacation to the Philippines in late December last year,  since ‘In His mountain, the Lord provides.’,  on that particular Sunday, despite the long queue in front of Ibn Battuta Station, I was able to get a cab quickly and the polite driver uncomplainingly brought me to the Church.  When after the Mass I noticed that there were many people waiting for a cab to bring them home, since ‘In His mountain, the Lord provides.’, He gave me a companion to walk along with toward Jebel Ali Hospital where after just a few minutes of waiting, an RTA bus came and brought us to the Ibn Battuta Station. When a few Sundays ago this same good  friend could not hear Mass for some reasons, since ‘In His mountain the Lord provides.’,  he sent an old and friendly Pakistani man to take me to Church for a minimal charge of Dhs10.00.
Just yesterday night, as my lady friend was running late and yet I had difficulty getting a cab from Ibn Battuta Station, a four-wheel-driven vehicle just stopped in front of me. The three Filipinas in the car offered to take me to the Church. I found out that they are members of the Choir and they knew that I was also going to Church that time because they always saw me sitting near the Choir area during the past Sunday Masses.
Had I started listing all these incidents since I first reached the ‘age of reason and of conviction’,  my list would have been endless at this point. Definitely, this recurrence of God’s provision in my life will go on with repetitious regularity and surely in those pursuits of mine that would please and glorify His name.





Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The heART of Listening

Many people love to talk but only few love to listen. Maybe because it is easy to talk and it is very hard and tiring for many to listen. Or, maybe it is therapeutic for many people to be listened to, that’s why many prefer to talk than to listen. We may have all our different reasons and explanations to this phenomenon but one thing is clear, we both have the need to talk and to be listened to.

I started my work as a Guidance Counselor in 1997 in one of the biggest universities in Manila. I never expected nor dreamt to be a Counselor. For many students, seeing a Guidance Counselor can be a scary experience. Many students think that they will be scolded or reprimanded for their misbehavior in school when they are referred to the Guidance Office. This is actually a big blunder and misnomer in the guidance and counseling profession. I don’t want to lecture or feel very defensive about it but I would like to share something relevant to my experience as a Counselor.

When I was still young, I always saw myself listening to people’s stories. They seemed to love sharing their good and bad stories with me. Looking back, I never thought that at a very young age I would have the patience and perseverance to listen to people. Fast forward, things happened unexpectedly not realizing that I would be doing a job which I consider a ministry, wherein I will do a lot of listening, understanding, processing, and eventually ‘healing of people’.Since then, I cannot count anymore how many students, parents, teachers, office staff, and even gym instructors in the schools where I worked both in the Philippines and abroad I have counseled. Also, the chemically-dependent people or drug abusers that I have helped through my volunteer work in a rehabilitation center in Bulacan is too big a number for me to recall. Most of them would not come back and say ‘thank you’ but some of them remembered to express their deepest gratitude and appreciation. I remember a counselee who thanked me so sincerely. Honestly, I thought I have not helped him during the session but I remember him saying, “Thank you very much Sir for listening to me.”It made me realize more that listening in itself is therapeutic and helpful for many people.

Maybe that’s why people love God so much because when they pray, God just listens with a compassionate heart and does not judge nor criticize anyone who prays to Him. Thus, people feel good and enlightened after praying.Many times I was asked by people if I don’t get tired of listening. My honest response would be, “NO.” I believe that God gave me the gift and the heart to be able to listen to people no matter what. After all, it makes me feel good and blessed to be of help to people just by simply listening to them. If only all people in this world would have a genuine and sincere heart to listen to their fellowmen regardless of all their differences, perhaps, there will be no more war and animosity but peace and harmony.

Whether you are a Counselor like me or not, we can always be a good listener to people we meet every day. Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, pointed out one of his rules, which is “Genuinely listen to people’s interest and do it sincerely.”

It is my hope and prayer that we would always have a listening heart to people around us especially at home, in our workplace, with our friends, or even with ordinary people we meet every day. We just have to listen and share a few moments of our time and yet such a small parcel taken from our time would create an impact and effect on the person of a magnitude that we probably not have imagined. Having done that, we have been an instrument in touching their heart and soul, helping them to think, feel, and do good for themselves.

I could have saved life that day

Out of the many safety meetings I’ve attended, our session last Monday February 21, 2011 to me had the most inspiring topic we’ve ever had. It touched my heart so deeply that it made me want to share to all my friends and relatives the story.

When the speaker was narrating the story I thought he was just informing us about another safety rule to bear in mind but as the story progressed,  I realized it was not about safety anymore but it was about attitude that makes you and others safe and alive.

The situation happened at the workplace. It is about a guy who is very particular about the safety rules from the most major up to the last details, always emphasizing the fact that there are reasons for every rule. Whenever he sees a co-worker performing his task without regard to the rules,  he would call his/her attention and insists with its observance like,  the complete and proper wearing of PPE (personal protective equipment). Every time he would do that, he  encountered resistance and received unflattering remarks in the process. Most of the time, it led him to a heated argument and verbal abuse of co-worker. This reality discouraged him so much that one day he decided to amend his ways and keep mum about it even though, on that particular day,  he saw one co-worker performing a task in an unsafe condition. At one point, he looked at his co-worker and tried to call his attention but he stopped and turned his back. He was just a few steps away when he heard the big noise and when he looked back, he saw his co-worker lying on the floor dead with the entire face burned by the steam water that just exploded in his face because of loose bolt. He knew his co-worker was at risk because on that day,  he saw him not wearing the protective equipment. Had he tried to remind him to wear the equipment, he could have saved his life that day but he decided to look the other way. This simple phrase became the subject of a beautiful poem which I want to share with you for your daily inspiration.

I could have saved the life that day
But I chose to look the other way
It wasn’t that I didn’t care
I had the time and I was there
But I didn’t to seem a fool
Or argue over a safety rule

I know he had done the job before,
If I speak up, he might get sore
The chances didn’t seem that bad,
I’d done the same, he knew I had.
So I shook my head and walked on by.

He knew the risks as well as I
He took the chance, I closed my eye
And with that act, I let him die
I could have saved a life that day
But I chose to look the other way

Now every time I see his wife
I know I should have saved his life.
That guilt is something I must bear
But it isn’t something you need share

If you see a risk that others take
That puts their health or life at stake
The question asked or thing you say
Could help them live another day
If you see a risk and walk away
Then hope you never have to say
I could have saved life that day
But I chose to look the other way

- Don Merrell -


Because of that incident, our guy decided to go back to his old ways but this time with a stronger resolve and conviction never to turn his back and do it the right way. Time had come when it is his co worker’s turn to remind him over the safety rules and he has no regrets.

Don Dizon

Sunday, February 20, 2011

In God’s Time

In His time, in His time
He makes all things beautiful in His time

God’s timing is perfect all the time. His is  ‘the right time all the time’. I know this and as a believer, I have accepted this fully and unconditionally, or so I thought. But the weakling Christian  in me makes me doubt this each time I find myself in a wearisome  situation that would always be a consequence of my past decisions and actions. While I know that I should listen to and discern God’s holy will before I take a shot,  the obstinate person and idiotic risk-taking venturesome spirit that I am would decide and do based on my conceptualizaton of events in my life, totally oblivious to  God’s prompting through His Holy Spirit. Yet when I am at the  moment confronted with the ramifications of my past folly, I turn to God to bring me out of the same mess that I myself created.  And if He does not seem to respond in a manner and at a time I so prescribe, I would throw tantrums like a child to his father when the latter would deprive him of his whims. How stupid I am and what right do I have to be demanding?  God does not owe me anything and whatever I ask that He gives, He does so not because He owes me or I deserve it but because He loves me. I do not merit anything from God no matter how straight the life that I may have been leading is (only for the sole purpose of discussion), hence, I can only beg for His grace and mercy. Yet, I demand for help from Him as if  I have all the right in this world to do so. Maybe it is because I am bound by my construal of  my relationship with Him as akin to that between a father and his son, as God being a Father is one of my best metaphors of Him.

For the past one year or so, I have been going through one of the most difficult trials in my life if not the most difficult so far. All throughout this time, I have been turning to God, praying to Him, and asking for His grace and mercy to help me throughout all these troubled times.  Yet, the impatient spoiled brat in me would feel disconsolate and  would resort to blaming Him if I do not get the help I expect from Him at the time frame that I specified. And while I sulk like a spoiled tot to his sire,  at the end of the day, I would surrender my pride and  turn back to Him as I have no other recourse. It has always been like this  for quite some time now. Lately though, I have started to see good things coming through as God has started to use people and events as instruments to minister to me His  amazing grace and undying love. The moment I started to realize that God has brought answers to my prayer, I started feeling guilty and remorseful that I ever doubted His faithfulness and love. This has always been the kind of relationship I have with Him and despite how He proved His love and faithfulness to me in the past, every time I find myself in a thorny quandary  and feeling dispirited, I would sulk in the corner of my own  little world and blame Him for abandoning me.

This time again, God has proven me wrong and I feel so shameful for being so frail in my faith. When will I ever learn? What face do I have to show Him this time yet again?  

Lord please show me everyday
As You’re teaching me Your way
That You do just what You say
In Your TIME


Thursday, February 17, 2011

My Counting in Writing

When I was first introduced to the idea of blogging, the first question I had in my mind was “What am I going to write?” I am an Accountant who was trained in counting but not in writing! I tried to give an answer to my own question and voila! I got not only the answers but the discovery of the wonderful world of counting in writing.

Behold! God created everything in 7 days. In the beginning the earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. God said, 'Let there be light!', and there was light. And God saw the light that it was good and God divided the light from the darkness. And the evening and the morning were the 1st day. God made the firmament he called Heaven and it was the 2nd day. God divided the water and dry land appeared and it was the 3rd day. God made two great lights, the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night and it was the 4th day. God created great whales and every living creature that moveth. God blessed them and said 'Be fruitful and multiply.' and it was the 5th day.

God declared! Let us make a man in our image, after our likeness and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. God created Adam and Eve and it was the 6th day. Again he commanded them to be fruitful and to multiply. On the 7th day God rested. (The Bible, King James Version).

As I marveled with the above historical writings, I was fascinated with the fact that God is counting on the days of creation using the basic mathematical principles of division and multiplication, though not mentioned,  addition and subtraction were obviously among them. Please take particular attention to how the whole universe and all heavenly bodies, including earth, were organized, moving, and revolving in perfect harmony with one another. Imagine if the distance between the earth and the sun were a little bit farther, all living things will freeze to death, a little shorter we will fry but an exact distance up to the last millimeter and degree, the earth and all living things flourish until the end of times. A simple miscalculation of distances from among the planets, sun, moon, stars, and the galaxies will have colossal consequences. God must be following a formula known only to him because he is an exact God and He accomplishes it by counting which I want to call as the Holy Count.

There were many accounts in the Bible that have been used by unbelievers that God does not exist because they asserted that most of the accounts in the bible were wrong. Take for instance the day when God commanded Adam not to eat from the tree of knowledge because he will surely die. Everybody knows that Adam disobeyed God but some critics insist that Adam did not die. When I was young and not yet a CPA, I too had the same question but when I learned the art of counting, which I want to call as the mortal count, I found the answer to the mystery. It is because God is not counting at the time He gave the commandment to Adam. He did not say you will surely die on the 1st day you eat the forbidden fruit. He merely said you will surely die. Adam did die, but only after 700 years of existence on earth. God didn’t want to apply the art of counting with Adam because if He did, He would have to give limit to the number of days Adam would exist on earth which would  be against His wisdom. When Adam disobeyed God he himself gave the limit to his own numbers on earth. From the day he had eaten the forbidden fruit, he learned the knowledge of counting and from then on he started counting his days. Mystery was solved through the concept of counting. I have the inclination that Adam must have been the first accountant in the world because he is the first human being who learned and applied the principle of multiplication.

Adam did multiply. Every minute, every hour, 24/7 until today, his descendants keep on growing and growing and somewhere someone is counting the increasing numbers until the bomb exploded in an uncontrollable proportion they fondly called population explosion. The explosion was so effective it made it all possible for the Martian, Mercurian, and Venusians, Holy Weak and me to co-exist in these modern days, bringing forth knowledge, inspiration, and happiness. Each of us has its own story to tell about the art of living, the art of loving, and most especially the art of counting rolled into one, called writing.

Depending on how you look at it, but in my opinion, our lives started with numbers. The very first time a man saw a woman, the most important attraction is of course, the girl’s vital statistics 34-24-34 Wow! A body you could die for! Then the guy pursues the girl and the most important question is “Can I get your number? And for you to understand the rest of the love story is to learn the art of counting. You may never know you were conceived in Room No. 45 or Room No 46.

During the courtship stage, the guy will promise the moon and the stars and declare “You are my only one.”, but actually what the guy really means is “You are my only one until I meet my number 2, 3, & 4." When all went well, the guy and the girl get married, and the baby gets conceived  and stays in the womb for 9 months.   Then, so there you are, you are born!

When I look back during my formative years, I found the art of counting as so confusing because everything else is counted as your first. The first day you learn to crawl, walk, and speak. The first question I remember is “How old are you? “And my answer was 3. The first song I learned was:
I have two hands, the left and the right
Hold them apart so clean and bright
Clap them one, two, three
Clean little hands are good to see!

My First Teacher, My First Shoes, My First Friend, My First communion, My First Crush, and of course the most memorable, My First Experience! Only when I grew up I was able to make a sense out of it and understand that people have been counting all their lives so that when they use the word “First”, they are actually saying that they have their Second, Third, Fourth, and so on. It comes as no surprise to me then, why I started my schooling from Grade 1, then 2,3,4,5 & 6 then 1st, 2nd, 3rd & 4th year high school all the way to College.

When I was still studying my degree in Accounting, I used to hang outs with friends during free time. Most of them were always bragging about their latest conquests. One would say “I have three girlfriends.” and the other responded with more intensity, “I have more than five and too much exes.”, then they turned to me and asked "How about you Homer?" Well of course, Me, Homer the Great, as always. humble and down to earth, would shrugge off and say “Well, I have only one because after that I stopped counting.”  Now I am confused again, I have begun by counting and ended up stopping counting?

The lesson of the story is, there are times counting is good but there are times when not counting is better.

Indeed! Numbers have greatly influenced our lives. At home with my family, budgeting and financial planning is a focal point for our survival. As a Father of the Family, my head is getting flooded with so much numbers, like, the monthly bills, electricity, water, telephone, transportation fares, tuition fees and all other fees that when I perform the process of addition, the numbers come up to gruesome quanity. At work, with the help of the state of the art system they call SAP;  the numbers are even  greater than at home. Initially I look with the simple number in our local unit and count. When something is not matching, I dig deeper so that the system brings  me to Regional Level until my mind would be  flooded with gargantuan numbers on a Global level. After sometime, I was surprised to learn that in my effort to resolve a simple issue of number, I have communicated to several places already, Manila, Malaysia, Singapore, Dubai, Germany, Houston, and so on as far as the number will take me. Now I come to realize the difference of counting at home and at work. At home, you count your own money. At work, you count the money not your own and worse you can’t even spend it! What a wonderful world of counting!

From the time we wake up in the morning our minds are already consumed with numbers. You wake up because of the noise created by the alarm clock which you set at 5am the night before you went to sleep. Then you hurry up to prepare for work being mindful of the fact your duty starts at 7:00am. If you don’t own a car, you start calculating how much transportation fares you will need to go back and forth the office and home. If you do own the car, you also calculate the distance between your house and the office and how much time you need to reach the office without being late. On the road you start to notice the thousands of commuters rushing up to the office for work, all have one objective in mind to beat the clock which never stops counting the seconds, minutes, and hours of the day. Along the road you also notice the sidewalk vendors, stores, and the mall starting to open up. Each of them has itsr own sign displayed in the board, “Sale 50% Discount”, “Buy 1 take 1 free”, “Check in now, Check out later”. At the office, you want to accelerate the process of counting so that come 4:30 you are good to go, duty is over for the day. At night, when it is time to sleep, you will set the alarm clock once again, for tomorrow is another day.

Initially, I thought that as an Accountant it would be difficult for me to write. I was wrong! I discovered that the skill of an Accountant is exactly what I need to be able to write beautifully because many principles in Accounting are very much relevant and applicable in writing.

The first rule of writing is to be brief and concise. As an accountant I was trained to be accurate, precise, and direct to the point. Balance and parallelism are a must in writing while uniformity and consistency will do the trick for accounting. Redundancy is a double entry while poor grammar and sentence construction are better detected and improved by the process of review and analysis, almost always looking for an answers to the questions How, When, What, Where, and Who. More importantly, Accountants are trained to have an organized thought, a skill very important in writing. It gives us the ability to present the subject in an organized and comprehensible manner presenting our facts from the smaller to the bigger details, from first to second, from a unit to a group, and from the beginning till the end.

An accountant can also be a good counselor when it comes to the matter of the heart. When a girl is confronted with the issue as who to choose from among her admirers, the accountant can always perform the financial profile of any prospective guy. He will simply apply the principle of “three Cs”, Character, Capacity and Credibility. On the emotional side, the accountant can explain to the couple the principle of adjusting entry so both of them can effectively adjust to any given situation. In times of trouble, our concept of reconciliation is the best tool to find harmony within the relationship. When the arguments persist and they are becoming like a recurring entry, the couple needs to apply the concept of 'write off' to get rid of the root causes once and for all. When the argument is about money, an Accountant will surely be helpful in financial planning and budgeting. When there are differences, an accountant can apply his investigative skills and find a logical explanation for the variances. If the difference comes up to three, there is an issue of a triangle. Now the accountant has a bigger problem to solve. How can he write off the other one because it is not balancing?

I thought accounting is different from writing but after doing this piece, I come to know that counting is the same as writing. Both are an art of expression blended together in perfect harmony. From now on,  my counting is writing.

Don Dizon

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My Brother Is Not A Pig!

I grew up in a family where everyone was present during mealtime. I have four big brothers as in literally big and two beautiful sisters. Well, that’s according to the recent survey conducted by Pulse Asia with only two respondents, my two sisters! Also present were the King (my father) and Queen (my mother) of our family with our uncle who was like a father to us. Every meal was like a big feast because eleven people sit and share in a big rectangular table.

During mealtime, a strange phenomenon usually happens that cannot be explained by anyone and even science would have a hard time digging facts about it. My eldest sister being very responsible, would divide and distribute the viand equally among our siblings. I remember vividly that our viand then was 'pritong galunggong' (fried mackerel fish). I would love to eat it with my rice swimming in water and rock salt.

Then, the moment of truth had to come out. When my sister was giving our share of the fish, she noticed that one piece was missing. She threatened all of us that if the guilty would not confess of the crime, she would punish all of us. Because my sister was like incredible hulk the female version, when she got angry, we were afraid of the consequence that we would receive from her. Yet despite this, nobody admitted that time. Until finally, my sister noticed the rice of my brother on his plate was shaped like Mt. Everest. My sister got suspicious and she slowly dug a hole from the surface of my brother’s rice. Aha! We saw the head of the fish as if wanting to escape from Alcatraz. My brother was caught hiding the fish so that he could get another one. Instead of blaming our brother, we all laughed and teased him for his work of art. Hehehehe! The mystery was solved and just like in any other court hearing, case closed.

While we were enjoying the taste of our humble but luscious food, my eldest brother who eats with a lot of enthusiasm and gusto would get a big chunk of rice like a construction worker spading huge bulk of sand, and slowly chew and swallow the gargantuan amount of rice and fried fish from his big hand. When he chewed, his face would turn elastic as if he was blowing a bazooka bubble gum. His two cheeks would bloat like a balloon and his face would change its appearance as if he underwent a face lift. We would control our laughter because we were afraid that our eldest brother might get embarrassed and eventually scold us.

As we continued with our meal, we were telling funny stories with each other. I found an opportunity to share with them my experience about my youngest brother. My brother was begging not to continue with the story but I believed that it was worth sharing after all. Every time we were in a jeepney going to school, my youngest brother had the habit of sleeping. One time, he fell asleep while his hands were hanging on the bar of the jeep. I was seated beside him and I was appalled to see that my brother was creating his own Guinness book of world record. I saw his saliva slowly falling from his mouth like a spider weaving its web. I was taken aghast by the sight that I saw. I gently woke up my brother so that no one would notice him and handed him my handkerchief. Wow! I didn’t know if I would deny him three times or disown him at that moment. Hehehe!
When it was my turn to be fried on the hot plate, my youngest brother was so fast in taking vengeance on me. He shared the time when we both didn’t have enough money to pay for our jeepney fare; I was like a coach telling him the game plan that we would do to be freed from shame and embarrassment. I told my youngest brother that the time we needed to go down from the jeep, I would count one, two, three, and we would jump and run as fast as we could. I told him that the key word to realize our game plan was timing. My siblings were all laughing hearing the story but I knew what I did was totally wrong. Honestly, I have already confessed it and never do it again.

As I reminisce all these funny and crazy moments I had with my siblings, I was reminded of this very popular line in the movie of the great Filipino Superstar, Nora Aunor, "My brother is not a pig!" I can’t help but laugh not because I agree that my brothers are a pig. It has become a common joke for many and I would remember uttering these words to them.

Wait, my brothers are not pigs! They are human beings like us! They are the happiest people I have in my life. Every time we are together, we always share each others laughter and happiness. We eat until the last grain of rice is finished, we sing songs as if we were the next contestants in Americal Idol, we shake our bellies with all the curves and waves, we banter with each other, watch movies ,and go places especially to Tagaytay, which is our favorite spot. In fact, we had our first spiritual recollection as siblings in that heavenly place facilitated by my youngest brother who is an ex-convict. Oopps, I mean ex-seminarian. Some of my friends envy me because we text and say 'I love you!' with each other without inhibition.I am thankful to God for giving me such happy and loving brothers and sisters. We are not perfect as siblings because we also have our own share of frailties, animosity, issues and fights, but we try our best to support, care, understand, forgive, and love each other especially now that our parents are gone.
If you think that my brothers are pigs, well, I would agree to a certain extent because they are big in size like a pig but they are the most amiable toy pig that one would want to have. Hehehe!

I LOVE YOU BROS!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Line to Heaven!

Hi guys:) You might all be wondering why am I writing again a blog about heaven. Well, if you have any qualms about it, I would like to think that you don’t want to be in heaven. hehehe:) Anyways, I am writing this as a sort of a “blog trilogy” which includes my very first blog See You in Heaven followed by Tears in Heaven. I would like to thank you guys for reading my stories and I hope that you have learned something from it.

Actually, my good friend Lolong gave me the idea writing the blog Tears in Heaven and this Line to Heaven. Honestly, I just feel good and inspired writing stories about heaven. Of course, I will never write anything about its opposite cause thinking of it just makes me feel scared and as I said, I wanted to see my parents in heaven.

Who is your line to heaven? Many say that our angels are our line to heaven. Some say that when someone dies whether a family member or a friend, they become our line to heaven. For the Marian devotees, they believe that our blessed Mother Mary is our personal line to heaven. I am sure that our lines to heaven are always available for us and they are open 24 hours daily without overseas charge wherever part of the world you are calling from.

I am not a book fan but I can say that I like to read especially psychology and motivational books. In my entire life, I have only finished reading two books in one sitting. Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom and Embraced by the Light written by Betty Eadie. I have partly mentioned in my previous blog Live and Let Die about Tuesdays with Morrie. This time, allow me to share with you one of the highlights of the story Embraced by the Light.

It was a story of the author who was pronounced clinically dead by the doctors and encountered a near-death experience. She described that when her soul was traveling around, she saw a ray of lights that move very fast going up to heaven. She was amazed and stunned by it because it was so beautiful and she has never seen before such an awe-inspiring sight in her entire life. To her amazement, she followed the ray of lights only to discover that God was catching all of it. But before she walked closer to God, she looked down to earth only to see that the ray of lights are the prayers of people mourning, begging, confessing, asking, praising, and thanking God for many things. Others are just praying to God for the intentions of their beloved family, friends, and for others whom they do not even know.

After reading the book, I realized that if many people will pray for my intention, many rays of lights will travel in speed to reach God in heaven. From then on, I always ask people to help me pray to God because I know that all prayers will be granted by Him. I have been addicted to the habit of asking others to help me pray to God for my intentions. Indeed, God's weakness is our prayer. He cannot say no and He will surely grant our prayers in His loving time. That’s why I make it a point that my lines to heaven are always ready to pray for me and with me. They are my family, friends, religious people, and the community where I engage myself with.

Let us always be a line to heaven for others. God will always be happy and ready to open His line in heaven. Start contacting Him now!

To all the Men I Loved Before

I was 18 when I had the first taste of love. Pure, unadulterated, and selfless. How I knew it was love, not mere infatuation? Because I knew that even if I was willing to be with this person for the rest of my life, I was able to let him go. He was never my boyfriend, but we both share the same love and intense feeling towards each other. Because we were young and he was destined to serve humanity and I was in a middle of crossroads, unsure of which road to take. He respected me, showed me that though we had love for each other, there are many kinds of love. Romantic love is just one of them; a greater love for service is also a form of love. Not everyone is meant for marriage, some people are destined to serve and to be of a higher calling. It was hard but I accepted it because if you truly love someone, his happiness will be your happiness too. That was my first definition of love.

He was popular, a heart-throb, all the girls I knew adored him. My heart would skip a beat every time he would gaze and throw me a smile while he was performing on stage. I was the typical girl who would have a crush to the guy next door. And he was the guy next door. Who would not fall in love head over heels when even after he was literally swarmed with women desperately seeking his attention – he would find his way through the crowd to approach me? ME?! He made me feel I was the most beautiful woman on earth. Crazy, nerve-wrecking, out-of-this-world, mind-blowing and heart pounding. How I knew this was love? After sometime when all these intense feelings have subsided, you get to love the person not only on stage but who he is off stage. On stage he was perfect, off stage; he was just like you and me, imperfect in many ways. We adored each other’s imperfections bcause it made us feel human. We had so many adventures. Young love can be wild, irresponsible and erotic. He totally drove me to my limits and turned my world-upside-down. This is love, truly unpredictable.

Respect, stability, care, attention and affection. Any woman would love a man who would offer her these on a silver platter. He was my knight in shining armor when I was a damsel in distress. When I was lonely, he cheered me up. When I almost lost my sanity, he made me realize that life is full of hope. When my temper was at its ugliest, he told me that I was the most gentle and loving person he has ever met. When all my jeans wouldn’t fit me because I was literally obese, he would look at me in the same way as when my curves were in the right places. When money was scarce because of family tragedy, he was there to provide for me. He loved me even if he knew that we could have a happy ending. Some people do come in your life because they are sent by God as your angel. Love is your knight in shining armor.

First meeting was intense. Second, third and countless meetings – we couldn’t get enough of each other. We were so attracted to each other that we couldn’t keep ourselves off each other. The relationship took off and rocketed like a spaceship! We were a couple to the eyes of many. Friends had high hopes this man will be the man on the other end waiting for me as I make that little trek to the aisle. I loved him, he loved me. We laughed, travelled, cried, fought, partied and dreamt together. Sounds mushy but we actually had a song. Some of the nights when we didn’t want to spend money, we would go by the beach to sit and cuddle with our hearts full of love and affection. He was proud of my achievements; I adored his manly and strong opinions. At times he would make me smile, at times mad. At times he would be there endlessly at my side, at times not. Your partner can be imperfect but you just love him anyway – sometimes you just don’t know why. I think this is Love, unexplainable.

There were men in between but it was only these men described above who made me feel, realize and appreciate Love. I am neither with any of them at the moment but I’m glad I did. And if I would be given the chance to change things in my past – I wouldn’t. I would go through the same hurt, shame, disappointment and painful agony because I knew how it is to love and be loved. If I sum it all up – I was happy and fulfilled. All of them formed an integral part of who I am at the moment.

To all these men whom I have loved before, Thank You. Thank you for loving me and showing me the many facets of love. You have all loved me differently and beautifully. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

On this month of love, I am writing this to all men and women alike. What is life without love? How can you call it a life well lived when you didn’t give your heart a chance to bleed and be healed? Love is never loved until you have experienced it. Live life by loving passionately, endlessly and faithfully.

I am just dying with excitement to meet the man whom I will love perfectly with my imperfections. Do I make sense? Who cares… I’m in love with LOVE!

Valentine for Expats

While there have been inconclusive and some conflicting  accounts relevant to the genesis of  Valentine’s Day,  this has never deterred people from across the globe to celebrate it every  February 14.  The most commonly-held rationale for its  observance is  historical-religious in nature   as it falls  on the same day as the Feast Day of St. Valentine,  who was a holy priest in Rome and martyrd for his Christian faith during the reign of Cladius II (268-270 AD).  One legend says, while awaiting his execution, Valentinus or Fr. Valentine  restored the sight of his jailer's blind daughter. Another legend says, on the eve of his death, he penned a farewell note to the jailer's daughter, signing it, "From your Valentine." The  site www.catholic.org  cites that St. Valentine was beheaded on February 14, about the year 270. He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travelers, young people. He is represented in pictures with birds and roses. However, there are two other Christian saints named Valentine whose feast day falls on Feb 14.  In  1969, Pope Paul VI dropped the feast day from the Roman Catholic calendar, although its religious observance is still permitted.

Its romantic elements began to take shape much later and only in the  14th century and since then,  Valentine is an occasion that is  more construed in a romantic than religious or spiritual  sense. 

Since I became an expat 7 years ago, there is this curiosity that has been resonating at the back of my mind about the meaning of Valentine to expats and how they celebrate it.  As would be expected,  gauging from the responses I gathered from the majority of expats I asked, their most immediate  attribution to the occasion is romantic in nature.

Here are some notable responses I got from them:

·         From a long lost friend that I found… just a call overseas
·         If you have LOVE, you don’t need to have anything else. If you don’t have LOVE, it does not matter much what else you have.

One person I asked (a friend)  said he will celebrate it exclusively with his wife and  most likely via a night out. When I asked him why his son would be  excluded from the celebration, he said that he wanted the special and very rare moment to be exclusively for him and his wife so as not to dilute  its romantic sense.

Another person (a lady friend) who is momentarily single  said that she would spend it at home chatting with her family, hoping that they would still be awake on the night of Valentine’s Day.  She added that even when she still had a boyfriend, there was no special celebration during Valentine’s Day as every day, they would watch movies, eat either before or after the movie, so there was nothing more special to do on other occasions. It was close to saying that to her, every day can be a special hearts’ day if we want to. 

One lady acquaintance I know  who is single intends to invite her other lady single friends for a fabulous dine out on Valentine’s night.

A married male expat whose wife and family are in the Philippines said that he will spend it along with his male flatmates eating, drinking, and singing videoke in their flat and calling his loved ones back home during the day itself.

I heard someone jokingly saying that he would find another expat (a female expat) who may be as lonely as he would be on Valentine’s day to date out.  It was intended as a joke but I also know that some would really do this.  This seemingly is one of the ramifications of the romantic associations that have been attached to what used to be a purely religious observance.

Of the many responses I got, I would like to highlight this one owing to its quite seemingly different perspective. It is like a breath of cold fresh air during  the intense heat of summer.

Valentine for me denotes Love. A love for one-self or self-love. What could be more meaningful for all God’s creation than to realize that they are beings of love. Who else can love you unconditionally than you? Once you understand that you are a being of Love and able to understand and experience the unconditional love from within, that is the time when you can share that same feeling with other beings around you, your community, your family, your spouse or partner.  So how do I celebrate it? I celebrate it everyday by looking at the mirror and telling myself ‘I love you’. I celebrate it by expressing that inner love towards others. One thing is for certain, I don’t strive to look for  love from others because for me, that is looking for love in all the wrong places. I look for Love from within, from my inner god and from that perspective,  I express that love toward others.

My earliest recollection of the inculcation of this celebration to my consciousness was in Grade 1 at age 5.  We were asked to make Valentine cards for our parents, siblings, teachers, and friends in school, the very people we love and care for as children. I also remember our class being taught this song:

Dearest child believe me you are truly my friend
So today with gladness to you will I send
Just a sign of friendship from this heart of mine
That will tell you in words ‘You are my Valentine’.

This will it say
Mother’s heart is true
And never will change
The love she gives you.

This song imprinted in me an indelible essence of Valentine  that still holds true today. As an expat physically away from my family, I feel quite sad, yet I suppose that nothing would dissuade me from expressing my love, affection, and gratitude to my Mother and my family through the varied means available to us right now, not just on Valentine’s Day but every day.

My Date with Destiny

It happened so fast and suddenly I found myself in the company of high caliber individuals. It gives me a mixed feeling of joy but at the same time doubtful of myself whether or not I can keep up with your high standard of expectation because COUNTING and not WRITING is my well- known expertise. I wonder if there is a good story to write about counting. Perhaps, I can start with number 1 reason why writing was invented in the first place and why 2 is too much and 3 is a crowd.

I thought of thousand reasons to send back our Martian Blogger to Mars for putting me through this agonizing thought of blogging. However, I also have million reasons to keep him by my side, to guide me through, and make me an excellent writer in the process. Who knows he can make me a billionaire someday and spend the rest of my life counting the money as well as the number of people I will share my blessings with.

I am just a simple guy in the neighborhood who has nothing to brag about my qualifications. I always prefer to be introduced as an ordinary Accountant who loves to meet new faces and reach new places, conquering territories after territories with only one objective in mind “to write and multiply”.

I am so excited of becoming a writer aside from being a good counter and a sweet lover.... of nature and other beautiful creations of God. I have come to realize that writing is a gift that only a few dare to pursue with passion. I am grateful to be a part of this extra ordinary form of expression called blogging.

I firmly believe that there is no accident in this life. Everything happens for a reason. Having been invited and become part of this team is no accident. There must be a reason and that I intend to find out as I go along with the process.

But for now, you guys just keep on writing while I keep on counting my number of dates with destiny!

Don Dizon

Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Greatest Love of All!

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all! This famous line from the song popularized by George Benson is my dream song that I would like to belt out in a singing contest someday and sing it with full of conviction and emotion.

Looking back, I started working at the age of 21 as a Filing Clerk under a manpower agency. I was very excited because it was my very first job and chance to earn money after 14 years of schooling. As a fresh graduate, I was full of energy and excitement to work, only to find out that I would experience being treated like a Utility man in the office. I don't have anything against those kinds of people but I remember my colleagues then who are regular employees of the bank where I worked who would always ask me to buy snacks for them. I even remember buying a 'band aid' for one lady and I thought that she would ask me to buy her a napkin too. Wow! That was indeed quite downgrading for me and painful because my hand had to get all the cuts and bruises from the fasteners every time I was asked to get a file of documents.

After few months, I was given a chance to work in one of the biggest groups of companies in Makati as a Personnel Clerk. I consider this as the most traumatic and embarrassing experience in my entire career life because my spinster boss just loved to humiliate and scold me in front of my office mates. I even remember crying like a child in front of her while she was admonishing me from failing to meet her work expectations. I pitied myself so much but I had to persevere and endure her because I was afraid to lose my job for it was very difficult then to find one. Most especially, it was hard for me to think that I would not be able to help my parents financially.

After many years of working in companies and schools, I was given a chance to work abroad as a Guidance Counselor in Jakarta, Indonesia. This time it was a totally different environment working with people from different backgrounds and orientations. I enjoyed being with students but it was a very challenging and hell- raising experience to have a rude, despicable, and slave driver bosses. They would ask you to do the job no matter what it takes. They don't care if you are sick and the worst is that they don't totally mind at all if you are grieving for a death of a loved one. I remember the time when I lost my first nephew to a motorbike accident. I was devastated that I couldn't go home to the Philippines to see the last remains of my beloved nephew. In fact, my sick boss was asking me to report for work. I raised my voice and told her that I am a counselor who needed counseling at that moment.

This time I am here in Dubai and seemingly I am reliving the same experience. It takes a lot of humanity for someone to swallow his pride, values, and even personal happiness just to earn money. Sadly, for many Filipinos who work abroad they send the fruit of their pain and hardwork to their families back home. From the very first day I started earning up to this time, I never experience enjoying fully the fruits of my labor. It was my choice but I think that I am not being fair to myself and at the same time not loving myself that much.

Now, I finally realized that I have to love myself first before I can continue to love others especially the people who are close to my heart. As I grow older, I know that I can only rely on my own resources and the unfathomable love of God for me.

Looking back to those significant moments of my life, I never thought that I would be able to survive them. I will never allow that to happen again because this time I have learned that I have to love myself more than anyone else. My love for God will be the ultimate reason for my living and loving but learning to love myself first more than anyone else is the greatest love of all because how can you love someone if you don't have enough love within yourself?

Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all!

A Case of Unrequited Love

A few days ago, I got a call from a friend of mine, a damsel-in-distress, who may be because of her young age, got so shaken by an unrequited affection.    She fell in love and I suppose she still is, with a male officemate who is of the same nationality as she is.  While the guy may not be clueless as to what she feels toward him for she would try to manifest it in her actions in discreet  ways,  he seems to be ignoring it.  This guy is in his late 20’s and this damsel is barely 23.  So is there a problem? Age gap is not the problem or the issue. The crux of the matter is that the guy is into a happy relationship and is contemplating at the moment to propose an engagement with his girlfriend. In other words the guy is happily in love with somebody else.  This left my friend devastated and hopeless.  She called me on the phone and sensing that all that she needed at that time was to pour herself out, I simply had to lend her my ears, listen intently, and accord her acceptance, understanding, and unconditional positive regard. But after pouring herself out, she sought counsel from me. Was I supposed to know the answer? Of course not, but she was expecting me to give her an advice which I, as a Psychologist, am not suppose to do and do not do. However, sensing her desperation for enlightenment or may be an affirmation for what she was thinking and intending to do,  I had to cease being Rogerian and employ a directive approach through Reality Therapy.  
Hoping that she is a grounded person (Well, I suppose I know her that way.), I presumed Reality Therapy would work. So I told her that in a relationship,  ‘it takes two to tango’. Very cliché, right, but it cannot be more true.  I told her she cannot dance the ballroom alone unless she is doing a single ballet performance.  Without a partner who is willing to do his part, there is no ballroom performance.  I made her realize that feeling in love or perhaps falling in love is part of our normal functioning as normal people and that having such a precious affection unreciprocated can be very hurting. But then again, I also impressed upon her that she cannot make the other person feel the same way she does toward him.  I told her to accept the reality that she fell in love with the guy but sadly, the feeling is not mutual.  I made her realize that after all, in an idealistic sense, love is supposed to be unselfish. It is something that you give freely without expecting that it will be given back to you. Another cliché.  Further, I cited another cliché, “If you love the person, set him free. If he comes back to you, then it was meant to be.”  Haay, love brings a lot of clichés out of the closest.  
I was tempted to tell her to be persistent in pursuing the object of her affection but I just realized that it would not be apt. Were she a man, I would have told her that “Relentless wooing may
gain favorable nod even from women with resolute will.”   Unfortunately, girls would just have to wait to be pursued by men no matter how intent their affection may be toward them.
What do you guys say? What do the gals have to say?






Love and Other Drugs, NOT

Just saw the movie Love and Other Drugs the other day with a single female cousin. Anne Hathaway is beautiful, fabulous and gorgeous. Jake Gyllenhaal oozes charm and hunkiness hot enough to melt the polar ice caps without the aid of global warming. Together, their chemistry was unbeatable. Of course, that is nothing new to fans who adored the loveteam in the award winning movie Brokeback Mountain by Ang Lee.
Love and other drugs is about a brilliant but happy go lucky guy who has been afraid of commitment all his life. A medical representative for a pharmaceutical company, he can charm the pants off of anyone regardless of gender but runs away at the first signs of a growing relationship.
Then he meets a girl just like him. Girl just wants a roll in the hay and wham, bam, thank you mam. No commitments, no meeting with parents and friends. Boy is intrigued by this female version of him. He falls in love. She falls in love.
Then fate throws a curve. Turns out our heroine has Parkinson’s disease. Boy can’t deal with. Girl goes all self sacrificing and throws him out because “I can’t hold you back in your career” and all that crap. They part ways. End of story. Nah! This is the movies after all. Of course they get back together and live, although maybe not so happily, ever after.
But I digress. My cousin and I are single and we are approaching that certain age in Philippine culture when the last trip in the nuptial train is about to leave us behind. I asked her. “Would you rather have someone to love and take care of in sickness and all the sacrifices it entails than not have anyone at all as you grow old?” Her answer? Nah!!!! Who me? Yup! She wouldn’t. And, if someone were to ask me the same question, my answer would be exactly the same. Maybe that’s why we’re still both single.
Then again, who’s to say what we will do if we meet a Jake in real life who’s willing to stand by us in the face of a long incurable ailment? Forget the incurable disease. Where do we find somebody who will be patient enough to understand and put up with our idiosyncrasies, selfishness, raging hormones and the challenges of your regular, everyday life in this crazy world? Hopefully, a someone we can love deep enough in return, no matter the imperfections?
Well, I’m not holding my breath. This is not about building that ballpark that Kevin Costner built as in “If you build it, they will come” sort of thing. Love exists in our life whether we are single or not. If it comes, then great! Grab it and never let it go. If it doesn’t, so what? I’d rather be alone but happy and at peace with the world and myself than be miserable with someone who doesn’t love me the way God really loves me.
PEACE!
Happy Valentine everyone!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Tailgating by Dubai Road Bullies

I drove for quite sometime mostly in Dubai roads until mid Aug of 2010.  While I miss driving, one thing that I surely don’t miss is the ‘tailgating’ that I constantly experienced from bully drivers along Dubai roads. But even now as a mere passenger in a car, I still get to experience being irked by the tailgaters although, its emotional effects on me  would be of less magnitude as it used to be when I was driving.  There are a lot of bully drivers in Dubai roads and they come from different nationalities and their bullying comes in many forms, where tailgating is one of them.  I just cannot fathom why some drivers have to drive very close behind one’s vehicle and continuously flash the headlights even if there is a speed limit in the road and there are installed radars along the way. What does the bully driver gain when the driver in front of him/her decides to shift to the other lane as a result of the tailgating and continuous flashing? a distance of barely 7-10 meters before being stopped by the next traffic lights?   a flash by the radar to record the over speeding? I suppose it is more than these. It is the bully in the person. It is the bully personality that is coming out in the road. We can only surmise how this bully personality manifests itself in other settings like work, clubs, social circles, etc.  Another form of bullying that is as annoying is this habit of some drivers to beep the moment the traffic light turns green. Within  milliseconds after  the light has signaled ‘go’, some drivers would beep those in front of them as if driving ahead at that very moment is a matter of life and death. To my observation, most of the drivers who do this represent one nationality although there are those who come from other nationalities as well.  These bullies in Dubai roads surely bring road hazards and endanger the life of other motorists. No wonder that road accidents incidents  in Dubai have always been very high and drivers do not seem  mindful at all and  do not seem to learn from the folly and tragedy of other drivers.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Boxer: Manny Pacman Pacquiao

I am just a poor boy though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance for a pocketful of mumbles such are promises

I used to sing this song of Simon & Garfunkel very frequently in the happy days of yore as a teenager and young adult. It is one of the songs that my cousins, friends, and I would love to sing during our jamming sessions through a guitar accompaniment from a male cousin who was quite a guitar virtuoso. He could play the chords and the tabs of the song very close to the memorable finger-picking guitar playing  by guitarist Fred Carter, Jr.  when they would do its live version then.While the song lends itself to good and easy singing especially with acoustic accompaniment, I suppose what endeared us to the song was more than this. It must be its literal if not sublime message… one poor young boy’s flight from poverty and his turning into boxing to sustain his survival.

When I left my home and my family I was no more than a boy...   running scared, laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters where the ragged people go…

While Paul Simon as lyricist  suggests  that the lyrics of the song is largely autobiographical,  could this song be foretelling if not prophetic of  one poor boy from the Philippines who as a grown-up  man would eventually become one of the most revered and celebrated boxers in our era? The song was composed, commercially released, and consequently became hugely popular in 1968, 10 years before Manny Pacquiao first saw the light of the world.   As echoed by the first line of the second stanza of the song, Manny Pacquiao left poverty and his home in Mindanao, Phils. to search for a greener pasture in Manila, where initially, he lived the life akin to that of a street urchin.

Asking only workman's wages I come looking for a job
 But I get no offers…

Manny did everything possible that his bare hands could lay and within his physical strength, manual skills, guts, and ‘never surrender’ attitude, to survive the rat-race life in the city of Manila.  Eventually, he got into amateur boxing, initially with the simple and sole intention of financially supporting himself and his family. Manny has said more than once before that it was not his dream to be a world champion but only a national champion and he said that God gave Him more than what he aspired for and he is very grateful for that.

In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade…

The last stanza of the song depicts the ‘boxer’ as badly beaten by the fighter and in anger and shame had to leave the arena while the ‘fighter’ stands victorious, tall, and proud.  As the song can only be as meaningful as the listener puts into it, in the last stanza I will put my own attributions to the words contained.  I would put forward my conceptualization that this is where the difference lies between Manny Pacquiao and the ‘boxer’ as depicted in the song.  The parallelism of their lives ends here. As Manny has become a ‘fighter’ in the song and not the ‘boxer’, a fighter who would risk his life by fighting toe-to-toe and face his adversary head-on no matter how significantly taller or heavier the other fellow might be.

I had never been a boxing fan and admittedly, I became only interested and eventually somehow addicted to boxing just very recently. It is Manny Pacquiao, the fighter, who inculcated in me this interest in boxing.  There had been too many famous and excellent boxers before but they did not stir my interest up in the sport even if I would watch every big fight of them on TV. Is it because none of them was Filipino? Perhaps, but more than this, I suppose it is the personality of Manny Pacquiao that endears me to him and got me hooked into the sport. He is not just a champion boxer but he is a fighter, one who is not afraid to fight any opponent, and a person who has the heart of a champion. It is not just his boxing skills that make him win his fights but his attitude, his discipline, his passion, and dedication. He is ‘no fear’, ‘never surrender’, ‘do or die’, ‘no pain no gain’, ‘no guts no glory’ personified. And because of all of these, he has fashioned his craft to perfection. He has become a virtuoso and this is the more important reason why I have become a big fan of him. When I watch his fight (and I do it again and again and again via the recorded version), I marvel at his skills. His display of unique boxing skills in the ring fascinates me to no end. It is like hearing a musical prodigy play the violin or the piano. It is like listening to Placido Domingo singing, or watching Michael Jordan play basketball. He has become a master of the sport and of his craft and whoever he faces in the ring, it does not really matter to me, because I would enjoy watching it because of his boxing skills that sets him apart from the rest.

I have watched other popular fighters both contemporary and from the past just for me to see and compare. Among the contemporary ones, I have watched the fights of De La Hoya, Mayweather, Hopkins, Cotto (who I admire very much for his being a perfect gentleman in and out of the ring), Katsidis, Hatton, Malignaggi, Bradley, Berto, etc., but I would dare say that Manny Pacquiao’s agility inside the ring, his speed, his footwork, his head movement, and his seven-punch combination coming from different angles set him apart.

In the end, I suppose I love watching Manny Pacquiao and I idolize him because he inspires me to be the best that I can be and he  reminds me of the following virtues that I should persevere to have and to keep:  hardwork, patience, passion, dedication, humility, generosity, and above all Love of God!  As a working expat, adhering to these virtues, especially patience and humility, is several times more challenging while Love of God through words and deeds is nothing short of indispensable as a ‘survival tool’ and I suppose only fellow expats working in the Middle East would be able to understand what I mean and relate to what I am trying to say.




Sunday, February 6, 2011

a fast and easy way to know which months of the year have 30 days

Now that it is the month February, I would remember what once my father taught me when I asked him one night, while doing my assignment, what months of the year would have 30 days. This is the tip that he gave me and he told me to memorize it as he did by heart. Here it goes:

30 days of September, April, June, & November, except for February that has 28 days and 29 in a leap year.

If my memory serves me right, he bragged that they were taught to memorize it when they were in Grade 1. He was a product of the American education system that required English as a medium of instruction even in grade school. Hence, I would hear him speak in English most especially during night time once the effect of liquor has gotten into his system.

I miss my father. Thanks for the tip Tatay!

differences in semantics and usage between 'lay' and 'lie'

lay & lie (verbs)

1. 'to lay' is used only in a transitive sense (thereby requiring a direct object to complete its meaning), whose meaning is "put to rest", and with the following past and participle form "laid".
2. 'to lie' is  used only in an intransitive only, hence, it does not require a direct object to complete its meaning and is normally followed by an appropriate preposition-  meaning is "be at rest or come to rest", and with the following past and participle forms  "lay" and "lain" respectively, but NEVER "laid".

However, confusion even between the words "lay"  & "lie" themselves is very common in uneducated talk and still is commoner, sometimes making its way into print, is the use of laid (which belongs to the verb "to lay" only) for "lay", which is the past tense and "lain", which is the past participle of "lie". 

For example:  WRONG:  We laid (lay) out on the grass and could have laid (lain) there all day.

lay & lie (nouns)

"lay" & "lie" are both used in the senses configuration of ground, direction, or position in which something lies (the proper lie or lay of the land); "lie" seems the more reasonable form; "lay" is more usual in US but both words are used in the same sense. 

"lay" (adj) means of the people as distinguished from the clergy, i.e., lay helpers in the church; it is also used in the following sense:  in a transferred sense, non-professional, not expert, especially in law and medicine, such as 'lay opinions' or 'the view of the layman'.

A 'lay figure' has no connection with any of the English words 'lay', but is from Dutch lead= joint, and means literally 'jointed figure'.



Saturday, February 5, 2011

Psyche Me Up: 2nd Chapter

This article was based on a research made by Laura Kubzansky of Harvard University.


Keys to a happier, healthier life
Research suggests that certain personal attributes—whether inborn or shaped by positive life circumstances—help some people avoid or healthfully manage diseases such as heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, and depression.

These include:
· Emotional vitality: a sense of enthusiasm, hopefulness, engagement things that occur in life

· Supportive networks of family and friends

· Being good at “self-regulation,” i.e. bouncing back from stressful challenges and knowing that things will eventually look up again; choosing healthy behaviors such as physical activity and eating well; and avoiding risky behaviors such as unsafe sex, drinking alcohol to excess, and regular overeating.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Nature vs Nurture

The concept of “Nature” is derived from the definition of heredity which means the transmission of characteristic traits from parents to offspring. Thus, the prolifics in the field of genetics and developmental psychology believe that most of our physical attributes and personality traits were inherited from our parents.

Growing up, I remember always being identified by people to be like my father in terms of his physical appearance as a tall, slim, and good looking (I assumed) man. Also, since my father loved to sing and he sang with love and passion especially kundiman songs (old Filipino songs), I believe that I got from him my inclination and alacrity to singing too but not much of the looks I think because admittedly he is more handsome than I am. I started singing at the age of 4 and I would remember standing on top of a big can of milk as my stage while I was holding a long piece of wooden clip for clothes as my microphone. One time when I joined a singing competition during the centennial celebration, he taught me the song “Ang Tangi Kong Pag-ibig.” He watched me perform on stage and he was very proud of me winning that competition. Vividly, I asked him to sing as I recorded his voice in my hand phone. Every now and then, I would play his songs and I can’t help but cry because he is now gone and I only have his beautiful voice with me. I miss the time that we would sing together his favorite old songs.

Well, my mother surely would not be out of the scene. Academically, my mother finished only up to Grade 3. Given a chance to study further, I am very sure that she would have excelled in class because of her mental acuity particularly in language and numbers. I remember her being my human calculator whenever I couldn't compute anymore my math homework especially in multiplication and subtraction. Similarly, she sounded very smart and confident talking in English with my friends and colleagues in the profession and she would bravely talk to foreigners she met when I was young. Personality wise, I believe that the distinct traits we inherited from our mother were humility, generosity, and compassion especially with poor individuals. My mother was a paragon of a selfless and magnanimous woman and mother to us especially with the less fortunate people as she could relate with them. She was a very prayerful person too. I would see her wake up at dawn to pray the rosary daily alone by herself. We grew up valuing the importance of prayer especially praying the rosary thus, we have imbibed from her the same religious practice. With all humility, I believe that we have inherited most of my mother's personality traits while we got from our father his being a kind and loyal friend.

The concept of “Nurture" is associated with the external factors that surround us which influence our growth and development as a human being whether social, moral, emotional, and spiritual. In this light, family, friends, school, religion, culture, tradition, and other significant factors play a pivotal role. Nowadays, you see the great impact to people of the things they see and experience. The mass media and technology being the source of all information, trends, passion, and popularity are now the standards of people in almost everything such as what clothes and accessories to buy, which places to go to for vacation, what is a good place for hanging out with friends, and especially the fad and latest in fashion and electronic gadgets. People are so consumed that many are extrinsically motivated to work hard just to possess all of these things. In fact, I have friends whose social standards are strongly attached and influenced by consumerism.

As a professional counselor, I have observed that most students are greatly influenced by their peers and thus submit themselves to their personal interests and preferences just to gratify the 'need to belong'. Most importantly, parents have a very strong and significant impact on the lives of their children, and perhaps most of them are not aware of the effects of the same on their growth and development as a person. I remember many students I have counseled who would sadly share that their parents forced them to enroll in the course that they did not want to pursue.

Nature vs Nurture is still a debatable topic in human psychology. It can give us a lot of insights and view about human nature. Reality is that, “Nature” is innate and that we cannot change it but we can only manage it while “Nurture” is learned or acquired and we always have a choice to accept or reject it. Perhaps, we can all look at our own being and dynamics and asked ourselves if we are a product of “Nature or Nurture.” What is your answer?

Thursday, February 3, 2011

On Humor

Humor is a complex cognitive function which often elicits and  leads to laughter.  Laughter is a ‘seizure-like’ activity that can be elicited by experiencing a humorous cognitive stimulus but also other stimuli, i.e., tickling. While humor and laughter are closely related, they are not synonymous.  Humor is the underlying cognitive process that frequently, but not necessarily, leads to laughter. Thus, one can laugh without a humorous stimulus and similarly one can experience humor without laughter. The basic ability to perceive humor seems “instinctive” and, thus, likely reliant on genetic machinations. Hence, whether something is funny or not, setting aside verbal phrasing, is somehow dependent on the person who is a recipient of such a stimulus.  

Humor is ubiquitous and universal, and its conspicuous presence in the behavioral repertoire of humankind invites adaptive explanations.  To our knowledge, no culture exists that is unfamiliar with humor. It appears  that all healthy individuals reliably comprehend obvious attempts at humor.

From a psychological standpoint, humor is a tool to adapt to a situation. It is a defense mechanism in itself. In a psychoanalytic sense, jokes are ‘half-meant truth’. In the same sense, we resort to humor or joke if we feel uncomfortable, incapable,  or inadequate to fully stand by what we say and do in regard to a situation or another person. But whether it is used as a healthy tool or not, that is another story.

Of the many sane and judicious things that can be uttered about humor and subsequently laughter, I would like to zero in on what to me is the healthful benefit of the latter.

Laughter lightens the soul. Laughter helps break down barriers between people. Laughter releases an endorphin that helps dull physical pain in the body. Laughter reduces feelings of stress. That is why they say that “Laughter is the best medicine."

ATE MARISSA: A WOMAN OF GREAT FAITH

ATE in the Filipino language means, “older sister.” Growing up as a child, I would always look up to my older siblings.  Definitely, I look ...