Many people love to talk but only few love to listen. Maybe because it is easy to talk and it is very hard and tiring for many to listen. Or, maybe it is therapeutic for many people to be listened to, that’s why many prefer to talk than to listen. We may have all our different reasons and explanations to this phenomenon but one thing is clear, we both have the need to talk and to be listened to.
I started my work as a Guidance Counselor in 1997 in one of the biggest universities in Manila. I never expected nor dreamt to be a Counselor. For many students, seeing a Guidance Counselor can be a scary experience. Many students think that they will be scolded or reprimanded for their misbehavior in school when they are referred to the Guidance Office. This is actually a big blunder and misnomer in the guidance and counseling profession. I don’t want to lecture or feel very defensive about it but I would like to share something relevant to my experience as a Counselor.
When I was still young, I always saw myself listening to people’s stories. They seemed to love sharing their good and bad stories with me. Looking back, I never thought that at a very young age I would have the patience and perseverance to listen to people. Fast forward, things happened unexpectedly not realizing that I would be doing a job which I consider a ministry, wherein I will do a lot of listening, understanding, processing, and eventually ‘healing of people’.Since then, I cannot count anymore how many students, parents, teachers, office staff, and even gym instructors in the schools where I worked both in the Philippines and abroad I have counseled. Also, the chemically-dependent people or drug abusers that I have helped through my volunteer work in a rehabilitation center in Bulacan is too big a number for me to recall. Most of them would not come back and say ‘thank you’ but some of them remembered to express their deepest gratitude and appreciation. I remember a counselee who thanked me so sincerely. Honestly, I thought I have not helped him during the session but I remember him saying, “Thank you very much Sir for listening to me.”It made me realize more that listening in itself is therapeutic and helpful for many people.
Maybe that’s why people love God so much because when they pray, God just listens with a compassionate heart and does not judge nor criticize anyone who prays to Him. Thus, people feel good and enlightened after praying.Many times I was asked by people if I don’t get tired of listening. My honest response would be, “NO.” I believe that God gave me the gift and the heart to be able to listen to people no matter what. After all, it makes me feel good and blessed to be of help to people just by simply listening to them. If only all people in this world would have a genuine and sincere heart to listen to their fellowmen regardless of all their differences, perhaps, there will be no more war and animosity but peace and harmony.
Whether you are a Counselor like me or not, we can always be a good listener to people we meet every day. Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, pointed out one of his rules, which is “Genuinely listen to people’s interest and do it sincerely.”
It is my hope and prayer that we would always have a listening heart to people around us especially at home, in our workplace, with our friends, or even with ordinary people we meet every day. We just have to listen and share a few moments of our time and yet such a small parcel taken from our time would create an impact and effect on the person of a magnitude that we probably not have imagined. Having done that, we have been an instrument in touching their heart and soul, helping them to think, feel, and do good for themselves.
I started my work as a Guidance Counselor in 1997 in one of the biggest universities in Manila. I never expected nor dreamt to be a Counselor. For many students, seeing a Guidance Counselor can be a scary experience. Many students think that they will be scolded or reprimanded for their misbehavior in school when they are referred to the Guidance Office. This is actually a big blunder and misnomer in the guidance and counseling profession. I don’t want to lecture or feel very defensive about it but I would like to share something relevant to my experience as a Counselor.
When I was still young, I always saw myself listening to people’s stories. They seemed to love sharing their good and bad stories with me. Looking back, I never thought that at a very young age I would have the patience and perseverance to listen to people. Fast forward, things happened unexpectedly not realizing that I would be doing a job which I consider a ministry, wherein I will do a lot of listening, understanding, processing, and eventually ‘healing of people’.Since then, I cannot count anymore how many students, parents, teachers, office staff, and even gym instructors in the schools where I worked both in the Philippines and abroad I have counseled. Also, the chemically-dependent people or drug abusers that I have helped through my volunteer work in a rehabilitation center in Bulacan is too big a number for me to recall. Most of them would not come back and say ‘thank you’ but some of them remembered to express their deepest gratitude and appreciation. I remember a counselee who thanked me so sincerely. Honestly, I thought I have not helped him during the session but I remember him saying, “Thank you very much Sir for listening to me.”It made me realize more that listening in itself is therapeutic and helpful for many people.
Maybe that’s why people love God so much because when they pray, God just listens with a compassionate heart and does not judge nor criticize anyone who prays to Him. Thus, people feel good and enlightened after praying.Many times I was asked by people if I don’t get tired of listening. My honest response would be, “NO.” I believe that God gave me the gift and the heart to be able to listen to people no matter what. After all, it makes me feel good and blessed to be of help to people just by simply listening to them. If only all people in this world would have a genuine and sincere heart to listen to their fellowmen regardless of all their differences, perhaps, there will be no more war and animosity but peace and harmony.
Whether you are a Counselor like me or not, we can always be a good listener to people we meet every day. Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, pointed out one of his rules, which is “Genuinely listen to people’s interest and do it sincerely.”
It is my hope and prayer that we would always have a listening heart to people around us especially at home, in our workplace, with our friends, or even with ordinary people we meet every day. We just have to listen and share a few moments of our time and yet such a small parcel taken from our time would create an impact and effect on the person of a magnitude that we probably not have imagined. Having done that, we have been an instrument in touching their heart and soul, helping them to think, feel, and do good for themselves.
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