A Birthday to Remember?

Growing up as a child, I always wish to celebrate my birthday in a fun and vivacious manner. Full of toys, fun games, surprises, gifts, and delicious food with the presence of my family and friends. Sadly, I cannot remember celebrating my birthday in a fun and frolic way. Up to this moment, I have always wanted and hover on the thought that one day I will experience celebrating my birthday like a child.

Now that another year is added into my life, I still wish that the day will come when I will see myself wearing a party cup, blowing candles, and receiving lots of gifts from my family and friends. It may sound selfish but I just wanted to experience the feeling. I am not really after the gifts that I will receive. I just wanted to feel the fun and excitement of celebrating my birthday in a childlike way.

For many years, I would usually celebrate my birthday in Tagaytay, in a heavenly place called "Munting Bukal." I call it "Birthday with the Lord." I would spend my whole day in meditation and prayer away from my family and friends. As I age, I realized that it is better to celebrate my birthday in silence thinking and feeling that God is with me during this very special day of my life. I have always wanted to have that rare opportunity of spending my birthday alone with God.

For this year, my friends here in Jakarta made their humble efforts to make me feel happy by preparing a simple "halo-halo party" and treated me for a dinner. Much as I would want to treat them but with my present situation, I just really can't afford to do it. Nevertheless, I am more than grateful to God for all the blessings especially the life that He gives me everyday.

However, this is my first birthday without the presence of my parents. I feel very sad knowing that it will always be like this. How I wish to hear them greeting me happy birthday and at the same time receiving their genuine hugs and kisses. It is the most priceless gift that I usually receive on my birthday. It breaks my heart thinking that it will not happen anymore thus, I have to live with it. Moreover, it is sad to be away from my family and I think I need to get used to this situation as an expatriate.

As a young child, I always wanted to be the center of attraction on my special day but as I grow older I realize that it changes. Given enough resources, I just wanted to bring back to God everything by sharing and making others happy especially those who are really in need. I cannot ask anything from God except that He continues to bless me everyday that I may live my life to the fullest according to His divine plan as I do my best to be an instrument of peace, love, and happiness to everyone.