Amang: My Father Whom God Has Blessed Me With

In my previous blogs, I have already shared some of my significant moments with my father. We call him Amang in my country the Philippines.

My Amang grew up from a very poor family. In fact, he only reached Grade 3 and he was not able to learn how to read and write. He worked as a janitor in a factory near our house. I remember during election time, I would accompany him to the voting precinct to guide him and give him instructions on what to do. When I was an elementary student, he would ask me to accompany him to watch the baseball game of my eldest brother to be his “tourist guide.” I would read for him the signboard on the jeepney which we have to take going to the venue. This incident strongly motivated me to study hard and make my father feel proud that even if he was illiterate he was blessed with an educated son. Thus, I tried my best to excel in my academics.

My Amang may not fully know the importance of education and the accomplishments I have earned academically but I have realized that he was one of the reasons why I strove hard to earn the highest possible academic degree. When I invited him for my masteral degree graduation, he replied by saying, “Why do I have to attend, you are not going to graduate with honors anyway?” Honestly, I tried my very best to graduate with honors. I was a consistent academic scholar and academic excellence awardee until I received a grade in my very last subject which disqualified me to earn the distinction. When I heard that from my Amang, honestly, I did not feel bad because I know that someday I will reap the fruits of my labor. Now, I have already realized the reason why I did not graduate with honors, God wanted me to learn and possess the most important human and holy virtue, humility.

Since Amang was addicted to alcohol and nicotine, he would always be with his friends drinking alcohol practically everyday. He would spend more time with them and would only go home when he will eat, sleep, watch television, and will do his personal routine. I would not deny that I have cursed my Amang for hurting everyone in the family both physically, psychologically, and emotionally especially my Inang.

If you ask me if I love Amang, with all humility my answer is YES! As I grow older, I have realized that we learn more from our painful and sad experiences in life. It may sound crazy but I have to thank my Amang for that. He has taught me a lot of good values from those painful moments and those are to be forgiving, accepting, understanding, and loving as a son and as a Christian.

My Amang may have not been an ideal father but I still consider him as a loving and caring father. When I was 4 years old, he brought me to a perya (carnival) for a ride in a ferris wheel. He was drunk then and I remember him telling me, “Anak pasensya ka na, iyan lang ang kaya ng Amang mo.” (Son, I am very sorry because your father can only give you this much.) I will never forget those words of Amang which made me realize that no matter how much Amang wanted to show his love to me and my siblings, he could only do as much. I know in my heart the reason why Amang uttered those words. It has something to do with his personal history from the day he was born until the time he became my father.

After 5 years of working in Indonesia, I went back home to the Philippines. It was my constant hope and prayer then, only to realize that I will take care of Amang on his remaining months. It was the most unforgettable, loving, and nurturing moments I had with Amang. Through him, I was able to show and learn all the loving values that a son could give to his father.

One day when we rushed him to the hospital, I thought that it was his time to go. By the grace of God, he still made it on that day. I whispered to him, “Amang, I am very thankful to the Lord because you are still here with me.” He told me not to confine him anymore because he feels very sorry that I have to spend my hard earned money from working abroad. I don’t mind if I have to use up every single peso I have saved if that will prolong his life with the hope that he will be totally healed from his sickness.

Through all the pain, sacrifice, service, joy, happiness, and loving moments I had with Amang, I have come to realize that no matter what I have been through with him, he is my Amang whom God has blessed me with.

I misss you very much Amang and I hope and pray to God to see you again and celebrate Father's Day in heaven. Happy Father's Day Amang and I love you very much.