my Catholic Faith

From a psychoanalytic standpoint, when we find ourselves confronted at the moment with a reality that our current coping resources cannot adequately handle, we tend to regress. It is more of a defense coping mechanism and a natural reaction as well. Personally, when I am in such a predicament, I regress by wanting to go home to my province, to be with  my family, to be with my mother, and be comforted in her bosom. Simply being home is a therapy in and by itself. But as an expat, I cannot just do that. Where do I turn to? How do I regress then?

I am more fortunate compared to other expats in some Middle East countries where the practice of their Christian faith is prohibited. Hence, when I am deep deep down in my throes, I would want to be inside a physical Church and just stay there for quite sometime to say anything and everything I want to say to God and listen as well to what He is telling me. At the same time I make it a point to thank Him,  although human as I am it is difficult to do, for giving me some troubles as through this way I am able to share His sufferings and I am also being purified. But it is so hard to bear and sometimes I cannot help but complain. I am not a saint and though I know that all of us are called to be holy, doing so is such a tremendous challenge. But I keep on trying. I keep on failing and for every backsliding that takes place, I keep on trying to get up. It is a daily struggle on my part. But I am somehow thankful that God's grace is there. Pls. Lord be patient with me!