Since I became an expat more than 6 years ago, the thought of receiving sad news about the death of a loved one back home has never been totally elusive. Once in a while, it crosses my mind and everytime I get an international call from back home especially during an unexpected moment, I feel a terrible feeling that is quite inexplicable until I hear what the other person has to say from the other end of the line. Same feeling I have for unexpected text messages from a relative back home until I get to read them. I have been quite successful in setting the thought aside and focus on more productive and positive thought processes though.
However, once in a while, real life experiences of people around us would serve as knockers. This is the predicament that I am in at the moment. My dear friend and colleague lost her dear mother a few days back. While the cause of death was not instant (leukemia), there is no full preparation to losing a loved one that would completely insulate us from the sorrow that it brings. I knew the pain that she felt and still is feeling because I lost three loved ones before. But I know that the pangs that she is feeling now are deeper as she was not able to go home to see her mother. The moment she told me that she no longer has a mom, the sorrow and pain that I felt was automatic. Call it vicarious experience. I cried as she did. Maybe, I was crying not just for her loss but for fear that it may happen to my life as well. I know that she wanted to go home but the realities at work prevented her from making that choice. It is really sad and I am angry because 'the power that be' in her employment could have done something to make it possible for her to go home. But sadly, that was not the case. This is the Middle East and this is not the Philippines.
I remember a story of one Filipina who worked as domestic helper for an Arab family in Abu Dhabi years back. One day she was informed about the suddent death of her very young daughter. She was begging to be allowed to go home by her employer but it all fell on deaf ears. She could not do anything as they had her passport. I cannot just imagine what she went through at that time. God forbids, but if it happens to me, I am not sure what drastic decision and action I can possibly do. I cannot fathom why there are people who can be too selfish and egocentric.
This is part of the reality of the life of some expatriates. There are those who are luckier to be part of a more humane work environment, others are not as lucky.
However, once in a while, real life experiences of people around us would serve as knockers. This is the predicament that I am in at the moment. My dear friend and colleague lost her dear mother a few days back. While the cause of death was not instant (leukemia), there is no full preparation to losing a loved one that would completely insulate us from the sorrow that it brings. I knew the pain that she felt and still is feeling because I lost three loved ones before. But I know that the pangs that she is feeling now are deeper as she was not able to go home to see her mother. The moment she told me that she no longer has a mom, the sorrow and pain that I felt was automatic. Call it vicarious experience. I cried as she did. Maybe, I was crying not just for her loss but for fear that it may happen to my life as well. I know that she wanted to go home but the realities at work prevented her from making that choice. It is really sad and I am angry because 'the power that be' in her employment could have done something to make it possible for her to go home. But sadly, that was not the case. This is the Middle East and this is not the Philippines.
I remember a story of one Filipina who worked as domestic helper for an Arab family in Abu Dhabi years back. One day she was informed about the suddent death of her very young daughter. She was begging to be allowed to go home by her employer but it all fell on deaf ears. She could not do anything as they had her passport. I cannot just imagine what she went through at that time. God forbids, but if it happens to me, I am not sure what drastic decision and action I can possibly do. I cannot fathom why there are people who can be too selfish and egocentric.
This is part of the reality of the life of some expatriates. There are those who are luckier to be part of a more humane work environment, others are not as lucky.
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